Does She Love You, He Said, Its Complicated I Answered Back
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Does She Love You, He Said, Itâs Complicated I Answered Back
I was sitting at the bar with my friend Mike, sipping on a cold beer and watching the game. He had been asking me about my relationship with Lisa, the girl I had been dating for a few months. He wanted to know how serious we were, if we had any plans for the future, if we were in love. I didn't have a clear answer for him. I liked Lisa a lot, she was smart, funny, beautiful and fun to be with. But I also felt like there was something missing, something that kept me from fully committing to her. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was complicated.
"Does she love you" Mike asked me bluntly. He had a way of cutting to the chase, of saying things that made me uncomfortable but also made me think. I looked at him and shrugged. "I don't know," I said honestly. "She says she does, sometimes. But other times she acts distant and cold. She's always busy with work or her friends or her family. She doesn't seem to make me a priority in her life. She doesn't share much about her feelings or her past. She's like a mystery to me."
Mike nodded sympathetically. He had been through his fair share of complicated relationships. He knew how frustrating and confusing they could be. "So why are you still with her" he asked me. "What are you waiting for" I sighed and took another sip of my beer. "I don't know," I repeated. "I guess I'm hoping that things will change. That she'll open up to me more. That she'll show me that she really cares. That she'll make me feel like I'm the only one for her." Mike shook his head and gave me a look of disbelief. "Dude, you're wasting your time," he said bluntly. "She's not going to change. She's not going to give you what you want. She's not in love with you."
I felt a pang of hurt and anger in my chest. How could he say that How could he be so sure He didn't know Lisa like I did. He didn't see the good side of her, the side that made me smile and laugh and feel alive. He didn't see the potential in our relationship, the possibility of something deeper and more meaningful. He didn't understand how complicated it was.
"It's not that simple," I said defensively. "You don't get it." Mike rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "I get it more than you think," he said calmly. "I've been where you are before. I've dated girls who were hot and cold, who played games with me, who kept me guessing and hoping and hurting. And you know what They never changed. They never loved me the way I wanted them to love me. They never made me happy."
He looked at me with a serious expression on his face. "Listen to me, man," he said earnestly. "You deserve better than this. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally, who respects you and supports you, who makes you feel special and important every day. Someone who is not complicated, but simple and honest and true." He paused and smiled slightly. "Someone like Sarah."
Sarah was Mike's girlfriend of two years. They had met at work and hit it off right away. They had a lot in common and enjoyed spending time together. They had moved in together six months ago and were talking about getting married soon. They were happy and in love.
I looked at Mike and felt a twinge of envy and admiration. He had found what I was looking for, what I thought I had found with Lisa but realized I hadn't. He had found someone who loved him the way he deserved to be loved.
"Maybe you're right," I said slowly. "Maybe Lisa is not the one for me." Mike smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. "Trust me, buddy," he said warmly. "You'll find someone better than her someday." He glanced at his watch and frowned slightly.